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Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz — illustrated cover

Never Split the Difference

by Chris Voss with Tahl Raz

Chris Voss spent years as the FBI's lead international kidnapping negotiator. In this book he argues that most negotiation advice gets people wrong. We are not calm, rational deal makers. We are emotional creatures who decide with our feelings first. So the best negotiators don't argue harder. They listen better. Voss calls this tactical empathy: understanding the other side's feelings and showing them you understand. He turns it into practical tools you can use anywhere, from salary talks to buying a car to getting your kids to bed. These tools include repeating someone's last words back to them, naming their emotions out loud, inviting them to say no, and asking open questions that start with how or what. The goal is never a lazy compromise. It is uncovering hidden information that changes everything.

6 narrated, animated lessons · about 13 minutes in total.

Play lesson 1

Never Split the Difference summary, chapter by chapter

  1. Lesson 1 · 2:12

    Negotiation Is Emotional, Not Rational

    People decide with their emotions first, so winning a negotiation starts with understanding feelings rather than out-arguing someone with logic.

  2. Lesson 2 · 2:11

    Mirror Them and Slow Down

    Repeating the last few words someone said, in a calm and slow voice, makes them feel heard and gets them to reveal more.

  3. Lesson 3 · 1:58

    Name Their Feelings Out Loud

    Labeling the other person's emotions, and even listing their likely complaints about you up front, defuses fear and builds trust.

  4. Lesson 4 · 2:07

    Aim for No, Then That's Right

    Letting people say no makes them feel safe and in control, and hearing them say that's right signals they truly feel understood.

  5. Lesson 5 · 2:04

    Ask How and What Questions

    Open questions that start with how or what give the other side the feeling of control while quietly steering them toward solving your problem.

  6. Lesson 6 · 2:11

    Hunt for the Hidden Black Swans

    Every tool in the book serves one purpose: uncovering the surprising unknown facts that can transform a deal, instead of settling for splitting the difference.

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